Two Fingers of Poison, One Ranger
by aznboi85
Summary: This is probably one of the most off the wall PRJF love triangles you will ever read. The title is kind of self explanatory. Rated T for some sexual innuendos, but only if you choose to read it as such. Somewhat AU. Based on 'Dance the Night Away.'


**Disclaimer: I do not own Power Rangers Jungle Fury. I am not making a profit by writing this.**

**Two Fingers of Poison, One Ranger**

At Dai Shi's temple, Toady was pestering Stingerella again. As of late, those two were practically attached at the hip, but that was not Stingerella's choice.

"Why do you insist on hanging around me?" Stingerella asked despite the fact that _she_ was in _his_ room. She put a hand on his left shoulder and shoved him. "You are just a slimy toad."

"Sorry," Toady said as Stingerella walked away from him, stopped, and folded her arms across her chest. "I just thought if we worked together we would be unstoppable. Your beauty and my—"

"Enough!" Stingerella exclaimed as she turned around to face him, morphing in the process.

"Wait!" Toady replied, morphing as well.

Toady blocked a kick attempt from Stingerella. She blocked a punch from Toady, catching his arm.

"You're worthless, and you have no rhythm!" Stingerella remarked.

She shoved him backwards, got into a handstand position, and kicked him twice. Toady got up his forearms to protect his face, but he still staggered backwards a few steps.

"Ha! You're a nuisance!" Stingerella commented, flicking her hair at him and walking away from him, this time _leaving_ Toady's room.

"But I can rhyme all the time," Toady retorted.

PRJF-PRJF-PRJF

After the rangers got owned by Stingerella's "rhythmic Rinshi," Toady appeared out of nowhere, hid behind a pillar, and watched on enamored as Stingerella battled the rangers.

"She's so pretty," Toady commented

Stingerella grabbed Theo by the wrists, and hauled him to his feet. The vice-like grip on Theo's wrists caused him to cry out in pain.

"Now blue ranger, I will finish this," Stingerella said.

Only in Toady's eyes, that's not what he saw. The amphibian saw the blue ranger and Stingerella hugging each other in a way that only lovers do. Stingerella was giggling out of both excitement and lust. To make matters worse, Theo and Stingerella were kissing even though, technically, that's not possible because a) Stingerella has no lips and b) Theo is wearing his ranger helmet which also has no lips, but I digress.

"What? That ranger is touching Stingerella! I'll destroy him!" Toady said angrily.

Toady hopped into the air and landed beside Theo, digging his claws into the blue ranger's back. Sparks flew off his ranger suit, and he tumbled to the ground. Some of the sparks flew right into Stingerella's eyes.

"My eyes! My eyes! It burns!" Stingerella shrieked.

She stumbled over to where her "rhythmic Rinshi" were at—at least where she thought they were at. Due to her impaired vision, she ended up standing in front of a cement pillar.

"Ugh! He's finally lost it. Let's get back before things get out of hand," Stingerella ordered as she teleported away.

Several feet away, the "rhythmic Rinshi" merely shrugged their shoulders and teleported away as well.

"Dude, it's three-on-one. Do you _really_ think you can beat us?" Casey asked.

Toady turned around only to find that Stingerella wasn't there. He looked around frantically.

"Stingerella? Where have you gone?" Toady asked.

"Hey!" Lily exclaimed.

"Huh?" Casey asked.

"Whoa! What's his problem?" Theo inquired.

"I've ruined everything!" Toady stated before weeping hysterically and teleporting away.

PRJF-PRJF-PRJF

Back at Dai Shi's temple, in Toady's room, he got _another_ visitor—only this time it wasn't Stingerella, it was Camille.

"Hey Toady, why the long, disgusting face?" the chameleon asked.

"Stingerella rejected me. I fought for her love and she left me on the battlefield," the toad responded his voice laden with sadness.

"That's not what I heard. I heard you blinded her."

"It was an accident!"

"Anyways, she's just playing hard to get."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. Remember, a girl likes to feel protected. Next time, why don't you show her how chivalrous you really are?" Camille suggested now standing behind Toady and taking great care not to touch his slimy body.

"Yes."

"Then I'm sure you'll be her knight in shining slime."

"I will!" Toady said mustering up his confidence, puffing out his chest, and leaving his room.

"If I can just get those two to work together, they'll destroy the rangers," Camille said talking to herself.

PRJF-PRJF-PRJF

Meanwhile, in Stingerella's room, she finally got her vision back after rinsing her eyes with water.

"The only way to get rid of Toady is to make him jealous, and the only way to do that is to make him think that I'm already taken. The only question is how?" Stingerella pondered.

She paced back and forth in her room trying to come up with a brilliant idea. When that wasn't working, she got into a handstand position and paced that way.

"Let's see, it can't be Dai Shi because Camille is already gaga over him. Naja wouldn't work either because he's a snake, and can't be trusted. It _definitely_ can't be Toady because he repulses me!" the only female finger of poison thought out loud.

She leaned her upside down body against a wall to see if that would help her come up with an idea. Moments later, a light bulb went off in her head, and she got down from the handstand position.

"I got it! I'll make Toady think I've fallen for one of the rangers!" Stingerella exclaimed quite pleased with her genius.

She pulled out a black leather pouch, and untied the string. In it was—a die. Two of the sides were red, two were blue, and two were yellow.

"With this die, I will decide which ranger I will pretend to have fallen for," Stingerella stated.

After much effort, she finally pulled out the die, holding it in one of her pincers. Stingerella flung it off the wall. It ricocheted, and landed on the floor. She looked down to see what it had landed on, and had to do a double take. The die had a yellow side facing up.

"Uh…that won't work. That won't make Toady jealous. That will just turn him on. It's time for a do over," Stingerella said.

She reached down and attempted to pick up the die, but her pincers made that task much more difficult.

"Curse these pincers! It's times like these where I wish I had hands!" Stingerella exclaimed.

Naja was passing by Stingerella's room when he saw her trying to grab something off the ground. He shook his head ashamed of the comrade before him.

"What are you doing?" Naja inquired.

"Naja, I—" Stingerella started to reply.

"On second thought, I don't want to know. Carry on," Naja said as he passed by Stingerella's room.

Several minutes, and too many attempts to count later, Stingerella had managed to pick up the die once more.

"Stupid die!" she exclaimed before hurling it at a wall again. Like the last time, it ricocheted off and rolled on the ground. Once it came to a stop, Stingerella bent over to see what it had landed on this time.

"Ah, that's better. No do over needed this time," she said.

PRJF-PRJF-PRJF

Back at the loft above Jungle Karma Pizza, the rangers were just returning from battle.

"That freaky dance group had some moves. I'll give them that," Lily said.

Theo and Casey exchanged confused glances with one another. It baffled them as to why Lily would compliment the enemy at all.

RJ spun around in his recliner. He was barefoot, and sitting in it Indian style. He had a remote control in each of his hands.

"So do you Lily. I think it's time to fight fire with fire. I want you to teach your new dance to Theo and Casey, and incorporate it into your fighting styles," RJ said.

Lily had a look on her face like that was the coolest idea ever.

"No, no. I don't dance," Theo stated.

"Great. More dance time for the new guy," Casey said smugly.

The tiger had succeeded in pushing the jaguar's buttons as he agreed to learn the choreography after all.

"5, 6, 7, 8," Lily counted off after having demonstrated the first several dance steps.

Theo and Casey remained rooted in position completely unaware that they were supposed to start dancing after Lily counted to eight. Lily gave them both a 'what are you waiting for?' look.

"Oh, we were supposed to start?" Casey asked.

"Why did you start counting from five?" Theo questioned.

Lily rolled her eyes. "5, 6, 7, 8," Lily said trying again.

Casey and Theo picked up the choreography pretty well—except for the part where the tiger nearly kicked the jaguar's head off. Luckily for the jaguar, he caught the tiger's leg. He threw it off of him as the tiger and the jaguar shot each other dirty looks.

RJ looked up from working on the rangers' new weapon, the Claw Cannon. He started to think that having Lily teach Theo and Casey dance choreography was a bad idea.

Lily showed her teammates the next several dance steps.

"5, 6, 7, 8, your turn," Lily counted off.

Theo and Casey did the next several dance steps just as Lily had shown them. Only, they collided into each other when walking backwards.

RJ looked up from working on the Claw Cannon again. At this rate, he'd never finish it.

"Ugh," RJ remarked wrinkling up his face in disgust.

Lily showed the red ranger and blue ranger the next several dance steps. Then, she stepped back and waved her arms in a 'the floor is yours' manner.

The tiger and the jaguar didn't collide with one another this time, but they still clashed as each was trying to be in the front. Ultimately, Theo ended up in the front. He flexed his bicep, and kissed it. Casey bent over, coming down to Theo's level. The jaguar gave him a 'what?' look, and the tiger simply rolled his eyes.

The next several dance steps the three rangers did in unison. It wasn't really surprising that Theo and Casey were picking up the choreography as well as they were. Casey was a quick study. As for Theo, he made sure that he excelled at everything he did.

"Work it. Come on, guys. Go, Theo!" Lily said encouragingly.

Theo stepped forward so that he was next to Lily and did his dance solo.

RJ looked up from working on the Claw Cannon _again_, and bounced along to the beat. "Ugh," he said as he grabbed his left shoulder after bouncing to the beat a little too enthusiastically.

"Go, Casey!" Lily said, pointing to him.

Casey did his dance solo. Then, the three rangers danced together. They struck their final pose. Theo and Casey wobbled on one leg desperately trying to keep their balance.

"All right! You guys got it!" Lily said proudly.

"No thanks to him!" Theo and Casey replied in unison.

The alarms blared, and the red ranger and blue ranger rushed off. Lily let out a frustrated sigh before taking off herself.

PRJF-PRJF-PRJF

Thanks to Lily's choreography, the rangers were able to defeat Stingerella's "rhythmic Rinshi."

"Power Rangers Jungle Fury!" the rangers said in unison striking completely unnecessary poses.

"But how?" a shocked Stingerella asked.

"It's all in the beat. Let's get her," Casey said.

Stingerella braced herself for the handicapped predicament she now found herself in.

"I won't let them destroy you! You are _my_ responsibility!" Toady stated as he stood protectively in front of Stingerella.

"Since when? You are just a worthless toad!" Stingerella retorted.

"Enough! This is my destiny. I love you, and together we will destroy the rangers!" Toady replied turning around to face his beloved.

"Oh, that's so chivalrous! But _we_ will not do _anything_ together! Rangers will be destroyed. Just not the blue ranger," Stingerella said.

She walked over to the blue ranger and leapt into his arms, straddling him. Given the size discrepancy, Stingerella only knocked him over, as both she and Theo fell to the ground with Stingerella landing on top of the blue ranger.

"Play along," she whispered in his ear before Theo shoved her off of him.

No sooner had Theo gotten to his feet, when Stingerella embraced him in her arms and was groping him. Theo's body gave an involuntary shudder. Then he decided to play along, and returned the favor. Theo held Stingerella's pincers in his hands and gazed into her eyes.

"I love you more," Theo stated.

Back at the loft, RJ shouted at the television monitor, "What are you doing?!" as if the people on the monitor could actually hear what he was shouting.

"Ever since we first met, you stole my heart, Stingerella. I just hope the fact that we're on opposing sides doesn't keep us apart. It doesn't have to. Look at Lucas and Nadira. They were former enemies turned soul mates," Theo said.

Toady walked over to Stingerella, and put a hand on her shoulder.

"You can't seriously be thinking of hooking up with _him_! He's a human! Not just any human either, he's a ranger! You're fraternizing with the emeny!" Toady remarked.

Stingerella put a pincer to her forehead and shook her head ashamed of the oh-so dazzling intellect of her amphibious teammate.

"Why shouldn't she choose me over you, Toady? You're so disgusting with all that slime," Theo commented.

A gob of slime slid down Toady's torso and plopped down at Stingerella's feet. She recoiled in disgust.

"I, on the other hand, am a neat freak. Besides, I'm lonely. Everywhere around me I see that everyone has a special someone. Casey and Lily like each other but just are too afraid to admit it," Theo explained.

"Hey!" the tiger and the cheetah exclaimed in unison.

"Fran only took the job so that she could be closer to RJ. As for RJ, it's no coincidence that ever since Fran has been hired, she has consistently been selected as the employee of the month," the jaguar said.

Back at the loft, RJ grabbed one of the myriad remote controls and quickly flipped the channel, his cheeks visibly reddening.

"This brings me to you, Stingerella. I don't know if you know this or not, but I've always had a thing for scorpions. By the way, is it just me or do your pincers look extra lustrous today?" Theo asked.

Casey and Lily tried their best to stifle their laughter. It was a good thing they were wearing helmets. Otherwise, Toady, Theo, and Stingerella would be able to see the enormous grins plastered on the faces of the red ranger and yellow ranger.

"Enough! Which is it, my love? Who do you choose? Me or the _ranger_?" Toady demanded.

Stingerella brushed Toady's hand off, got into her patented handstand stance and kicked Toady repeatedly. The amphibian got his forearms up to block because heaven forbid there is actual hitting in the power rangers universe. Nevertheless, Toady was sent rolling on the ground.

"Stingerella?" a crushed Toady asked.

"Scorpion attack!" Stingerella shouted.

A swarm of scorpions covered Toady from head to toe. The amphibian tried to shake them off, but the poor fool had so much slime on his body that they were stuck on him. The scorpions inevitably stung Toady, turning him into stone. Then there was an explosion for goodness knows what reason, and Toady was shattered into a million pieces.

"Finally! That annoying toad has been a thorn in my side for far too long!" Stingerella remarked. "Now, I can get back to destroying you!"

She stuck with what brought her to the dance, her handstand position. Stingerella split her legs, and spun on her head like a top straight towards the rangers. They, of course, got their forearms up in defense, but were sent flying to the ground regardless.

"Game over, rangers!" Stingerella boasted.

"Not this time! RJ, send us the cannon," Theo said using his communicator.

"Claw Cannon!" Theo and Lily said simultaneously as it appeared in their hands and they both dropped to one knee.

Casey got in between the rangers and Stingerella. "Wait," he said.

"Casey, teamwork. Remember?" Lily asked as she and Theo were charging the Claw Cannon.

"Yeah, tell that to Theo," Casey said before rushing off to face Stingerella.

"What?" the blue ranger asked incredulously.

"What are you doing?" RJ asked out loud back at the loft in the comfort of his own recliner. Since there were so many televisions, he only managed to change the channel on one of them.

Stingerella and the red ranger parried each other's attacks. That all changed when Stingerella stuck out her leg and swept the legs out from underneath the red ranger. Defying all laws of gravity, the red ranger flew through the air doing a sort of moonsault before landing on his chest and stomach.

"Ooh, that's not good!" RJ commented back at the loft taking over Flit's role for the time being.

"It's almost charged, but it won't work without Casey," Lily said to Theo.

"We don't need him!" Theo replied.

"RJ said it takes all of us."

"I'm going after the others," Stingerella said to anyone who was listening.

Stingerella leapt through the air and hit Theo and Lily with her pincers. The two rangers were sent rolling on the ground.

"Weaklings!" she said before teleporting away.

Theo rose to his feet. "I don't believe it! Casey, we could have had her!" the jaguar yelled.

Casey stood up as well and walked over to Theo, getting in his face. "So which is it Theo, are we a team? Or am I just the new guy?" Casey inquired.

PRJF-PRJF-PRJF

Casey was in the patio area of Jungle Karma Pizza, and was about to head inside, when Theo stopped him.

"Casey, hold up. We lost that battle because of you," Theo said bluntly.

The tiger looked around to see if there were any other people named Casey around him, and there weren't.

"Me?" Casey asked.

Theo gave him a 'duh' look.

"You're the one who said I'm just the new guy, and now all of a sudden it's my fault? Listen, I know you've been doing this longer than me, but trust me, I'm not trying to steal your thunder!" Casey replied.

"No, you're just trying to steal my best friend!" Theo countered.

"That is ridiculous!"

"Oh, don't deny it! You and Lil—"

"Hey!" Lily called out walking up to the both of them. "As long as you're talking about me, why don't I join in? Casey, I don't care how long you were at the Academy! You're a member of our team, and we need you to work _with us_ on the battlefield! Theo, we have got a bond that will last a lifetime! Got it?"

"Got it," Theo answered.

"Good, and Casey's my friend too, a new friend. I mean, come on guys, we are in charge of protecting the world here. This isn't the prom! Work it out," Lily said before leaving the two boys alone and letting them chew on that.

"She's right," Casey stated.

"She usually is. Look, I guess I kind of overreacted. Sorry man. She's just really important to me, and it seemed like I wasn't important to her anymore," Theo explained.

"Dude, I get it, and I'm not trying to move in. I'm just trying to fit in. Okay? Sorry too. I guess I overreacted to your overreaction."

"Sorry."

"Yeah."

The tiger and the jaguar did a guy handshake.

"Now, let's track down your lovebird, and finish what she started," Casey stated.

"Dude, that's not funny!" Theo exclaimed.

PRJF-PRJF-PRJF

"Stop right there!" the three rangers said in stereo.

"Those rangers again?!" Stingerella said annoyed. She proceeded to morph. "Ready to meet the same fate as Toady?"

"Only this time, you're the one getting beat. Right guys?" Casey asked.

"Right!" Lily and Theo said at the same time.

"Ready for the Claw Cannon?" Theo asked.

"You know it," Casey answered.

It materialized and Lily and Theo each grabbed hold of one side of it as they each dropped down to one knee.

"Charge," Theo said.

"Charge," Lily stated.

Stingerella leapt into the air. Casey stood in front of teammates protectively. Stingerella actually slashed him in the chest with one of her pincers, but that was only because the red ranger was holding his arms out. Sparks came out of his suit.

The two parried one another's attacks for awhile, before Stingerella got a lucky shot in with her pincer. Casey fell to the ground as more sparks flew off his ranger suit.

Casey got up to his feet only to be knocked down once again this time by a Stingerella uppercut. Once more, sparks came out of the ranger suit in the chest region.

"Come on, Casey. Hold her off!" Theo exclaimed.

"It's almost charged," Lily said giving us a progress report.

"I'll end this once and for all," Stingerella said as she sauntered over to the yellow ranger and blue ranger.

Casey flipped up onto his feet. He went for a leg sweep, but Stingerella back flipped over it, landing in a handstand stance.

"Get away from them!" Casey shouted.

A little game of cat and mouse ensued as Stingerella would walk on her hands to the left and to the right as Casey mirrored her motions. Stingerella flipped out of the handstand position, and while in midair, attempted a bicycle kick. Casey blocked the attack. However, he wasn't able to block the pincer shot to his chest. He was knocked to the ground for a third time, but who's counting?

Stingerella leapt into the air and belly flopped onto the red ranger. As she was horizontal with him, she pressed all her weight on top of him.

"Charged," Theo said.

"Charged," Lily said even though Theo had just said that.

"It's ready," Theo announced as though 'charged' wasn't indication enough.

"All right. Casey!" Lily said concern evident in her voice.

"Get off me!" Casey screamed.

He managed to get his legs underneath Stingerella's stomach. The red ranger extended his legs in one sharp motion, sending Stingerella careening through the air.

"Let's do it, guys!" Casey said as he leapt into the air, and landed behind the Claw Cannon.

"Powered by animal spirits! Fire!" the rangers said simultaneously.

The blast completely engulfed Stingerella. She was turned to stone because that's how all monsters in Jungle Fury are destroyed. Then, there was an explosion, and little fragments of petrified scorpion rained down from the sky.

"Power Rangers Jungle Fury!" the three spandex-clad superheroes said in unison as they each struck a pose. Three explosions—one red, one blue, and one yellow—went off behind the rangers for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

PRJF-PRJF-PRJF

Theo was sitting in a booth at Jungle Karma Pizza fondling a cheetah figurine in his hands.

Fran took a seat across from him. She placed a bottle of soda and a cup of ice before Theo.

"Love on the rocks?" she asked.

"It's not love. Me and Lily used to be a duo. Now we're a trio. Things are different," Theo explained.

"Different's not so bad. I mean if everything always stayed the same, things would get boring," Fran replied.

RJ was walking by, and halted in his tracks upon seeing Theo. He walked over to the booth where Fran and Theo were sitting.

"Theo, what are you doing in here? Lily's been waiting outside for ten minutes," RJ stated.

"What?" Theo asked his voice rising ever-so-slightly in pitch.

"Something about a lunch thing," RJ said.

Theo giggled excitedly before scrambling off towards the back room. He then realized that RJ had said Lily was _outside_, and made a dash for the front door.

Fran got up out of the booth and walked over to RJ. He put an arm around her.

"Ah, love," they said before being overcome with laughter.

PRJF-PRJF-PRJF

Theo ran outside and scanned his surroundings for any sign of his best friend. He had to do a double take upon seeing what he could only assume was Lily. She was wearing a full costume that bore a striking resemblance to Stingerella.

"Ha-ha. Very, funny, Lil," Theo said sarcastically.

"What? I thought you said she was your type?" Lily replied pulling off the scorpion head to reveal her human head.

"Ew! Gross! It was just an act! Stingerella and I joined forces temporarily for a common goal—to get rid of Toady. That's all that was!"

"Right. Whatever you say. So, are you ready to go?"

"Sure, but first things first. Take it off!"

**The End**

**A/N: I have no idea what made me write this, so don't even bother asking. I really had fun writing this though, but then again, I do have a weird sense of humor. I hope there wasn't too much rehashing of the actual episode 'Dance the Night Away' in this fic as I tried my best to avoid that. Loved it? Hated it? I hope you'll click on that little purple button and let me know. If you did hate it though, rather than flat out flame me, please offer me constructive criticism instead. Thanks for reading this!**


End file.
